Friday, September 17, 2004
Gone Too Soon
I remember the day I met Christian John "CJ" Coloso, who was, like me, a member of our choir in school, Himig Agham. We had just wrapped up our practice session, and I was walking back to my dorm with a friend, Paula, and her friend from section I-Sapphire. He was a big guy, kinda portly, with chinky eyes, and I decided it was about time that I got to know people from other sections as well as my own.
"Anong pangalan mo?" I asked him.
"CJ. Ikaw?"
"Uh…JC.”"
I laughed, finding it quite interesting that our nicknames were anagrams of each other. CJ seemed like a cool guy. I’m sure he could've been a great friend of mine.
Emphasis on the word could've.
Fast forward to last Monday, September 13. The entire student body was assembled by the flagpole for our morning ceremony (which, unlike in DLSZ, only happens once a week). The winners during Humanities Week were going to be awarded their prizes, and I was pretty psyched to have won the spelling contest and get cash for it. Haha. Returning to my place in line, I was looking forward to Himig Agham practice, having made a new friend in CJ. We stood there as an upperclassman led our prayer, and it surprised me to hear her pray this line into the microphone she held: "Please bless the soul of CJ Coloso of I-Sapphire, who..."
Oh my god, I thought. Please just say he got ill or something, please...
I feared for the worst. In my mind, it seemed to take eons for that girl to finish that sentence, although in reality she didn't actually pause mid-sentence at all.
"...who passed away last Saturday."
Wham. That totally knocked the wind right out of me. I couldn't believe a word of what had reached my ears...CJ had died? This couldn't be happening!
Unfortunately, the news was as real as it could get. Christian John Coloso had died of dengue fever and heart enlargement. Up to today, it baffles me as to how my classmates could go on as if nothing had happened (I was the only one of I-Opal who actually knew CJ on some level). If I had never known him at all, would I be as indifferent as they?
His death, which was on my mind through the entire week, got me to thinking a lot. About life. About death. How could God let someone die so young? And if CJ got one last look at his life before he went on, would he be content with passing away at souch a young age? If he had not died, what could he have become in the future? These questions, among many, linger in my mind to this very day.
Lunchtime that Monday, Paula, who, besides being my fellow choir member, lived in the dorm room next to mine, brought to attention an interesting memory of CJ that happened one to two weeks ago. We were at the PSHS gym, and CJ was filming the entire place with a videocamera he had brought. Like anyone who would've seen him, I was naturally curious.
"Anong ginagawa mo, CJ?"
He smiled as he continued filming. "I’m shooting a video of my life in Philippine Science High School to send to my friends back in my old school."
I guess the value of that footage has gone up by quite a lot now, huh? Wow...that memory was pretty ominous, indeed. God must really have a plan for each one of us, and well, maybe CJ was one of the people whom God wanted to serve as an angel. I suppose God thought of CJ Coloso as one of the better individuals of this world, and wished for CJ to come live with him in His Kingdom.
This Thursday, a mass was held in school in memory of CJ. The body was there, casket and all, but I avoided looking at it as much as possible, not only because of my necrophobia (fear of dead bodies), but because I wanted to remember CJ as the cool guy from Himig Agham that I had the privilege of knowing, not as some pale-faced cadaver behind a glass pane in a white coffin. I shed a tear as his father gave a speech, all the while thinking that even though I had not known CJ very well (and I really wish I'd gotten to know him better), I was still sad about the fact that I was never going to see him again, ever. Why did it have to be CJ, God, why? CJ never made any enemies. He was nice to everyone, and I was getting close to becoming good friends with him. I don’t know many people from the other sections, and one of the few people that I actually do know just...passes away.
Like many of you who like posting lyrics on their blogs (this means you, Isko!), I will, in closing, end my post with the lyrics of Babyface's beautiful song, "Gone Too Soon." Thanks for reading, everyone, and to CJ, wherever you are: I'll miss you, man.
Like a comet blazing across the evening sky, gone too soon
Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon
Shiny and sparkly, and splendidly bright
Here one day, gone one night
Like a loss of sunlight on a cloudy afternoon, gone too soon
Like a castle built upon a sandy beach, gone too soon
Like a perfect, perfect flower just beyond your reach, gone too soon
Born to amuse, to admire and delight
Here one day and gone one night
Like a sunset dying with the rising of the moon
Gone too soon
