Friday, September 30, 2005
Emotional Investment
It takes a lot to make me cry. I'd consider myself pretty deft at concealing my unpretty emotions: Year after year at every school Recollection, I could sit there stoically while everybody else cried rivers. And if I ever did cry, it was usually within the four walls of my room, properly locked and bolted.
Last Monday was the first time I'd ever cried in this damn school (not counting CJ's wake), and it wasn't even because of something I did.
Anybody who knows me knows that I'd despised Social Science (then known as Araling Panlipunan) ever since I first encountered the subject. 2005 changed it all. Sure, maybe the fact that it was finally being taught in English had something to do with it, but what I really loved about SocSci this year was that my class, II - Ilang-ilang, seemed to be so good at it. It made proud of my class, and it made me want to do well in SocSci too. And so for the First Quarter of my sophomore year, I'd made quite an improvement from always having SocSci as my lowest grade in my report card (1.75 to 2.0): for the first time ever, I got an uno in SocSci. But more importantly than that, I learned to love a subject that I had always detested.
But as with all the other good things in my life, this one crashed and burned too.
Long story short, my class had let down our Social Science teacher by turning in abysmally subpar work. My group (the East Asia group) was safe, but I was still affected. When it comes to SocSci, I'm always affected. Perhaps I expect too much out of our class when it comes to this subject, but I really wanted Ilang-ilang to be the best. So when somebody slips, I take a hit as well. Every hit my class takes goes double for me. It's somewhat similar to my love for Constantine Maroulis. Before you all razz me for being "mababaw," allow me to justify my analogy: my emotional investment in Constantine was so great that I was damn sure he was the best and that he would win American Idol. So when that shocker elimination slapped me in the face, of course I cried!
Same thing goes for Ilang-ilang, and last Monday just really sucked for me. Was the hypothesis I told Pauline about true?
Do I really care too much? Should I save my tears by walling myself off emotionally? I can only hope that I can remain as passionate about Social Science, or for that matter, Ilang-ilang, as I used to be, but it's getting harder and harder to walk this tightrope.
And to top it all off, this Friday, I lost my greatest pride and joy in SocSci 2 (and it's not the uno).
I lost my East Asia group.East Asia, this Monday's
Exam of Enlightenment is the last time I'll ever get to work with you guys as one group. Let's end this last quarter together with a bang.
Jon, Yssa, Angel, Pauline, Bon...make me proud! You always did. What say we do it one last time? :)
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
The "About Me" Countdown!
I'm not sure who I got this from...I think it's from Jam's blog, but anyway, you guys can copy + edit + paste this on your own blogs, too!
TEN Totally Random Things About Me10- My bed's a stage and my hairbrush is a microphone. You do the math.
09- The only channels I watch are JackTV, ETC, and Star World.
08- Unlike most girls, I prefer the shy, nerdy types over the uber-hunks.
07- I can't wait 'till the movie version of Rent comes out!!!
06- I think Batman and Wonder Woman are cute together :) (hehe, I watched JLA Unlimited once kasi)
05- My skin color varies in photographs depending on the lighting used---in some pictures I'm tan, in others I look freakishly anemic.
04- My cellphone almost always has shitty signal. Fuck you, Siemens.
03- On average, I sleep about four hours a night. (Two if it's Sunday)
02- No matter where I am or what I'm doing, there's usually a song playing in my head.
01- As of this day, I own exactly 37 music files, 84 videos and 629 pictures of Constantine Maroulis. And this collection grows bigger and bigger every week.
NINE Places I've Been To09- Hong Kong
08- Enchanted Kingdom
07- Angels' Hills (sp?) with the Bulljoezers!
06- Gateway Mall
05- New World Hotel
04- Araneta Coliseum (to watch a spectacular Freestyle/Side A Valentine's concert)
03- Miggy's house
02- Kat's house
01- my house! (duh!)
EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die08- star in a musical
07- receive a standing ovation (whether for a song number, a speech, or whatever)
06- study at Julliard or the Boston Conservatory
05- be rich (doesn't everyone?)
04- live in my own posh apartment
03- own a Volkswagen New Beetle (my dream car)
02- buy my family a nice big house and a Porsche 911 (my dad's dream car)
01- fall in love (aah, corny ko)
SEVEN Ways To Win My Heart07- Smile at me. I'm bound to notice a guy's smile.
06- I'm a sucker for guys with long hair. :)
05- Be yourself. Posers suck.
04- Be friendly and try to strike up a conversation with me if we ever cross paths.
03- Be nice to me---I'll always, always go for nice guys.
02- Roses, chocolates, anything romantic. It's cheesy but I like it.
01- Make me feel special. :)
SIX Things I Believe In06- the power of love (hehe, I'm cheesy)
05- having one special soulmate
04- looking on the bright side of things
03- God
02- my friends
01- myself
FIVE Things I'm Afraid Of05- failure
04- loneliness
03- insanity
02- needles
01- cadavers (dati pa)
FOUR of My Favorite Items In My Bedroom04- my laptop
03- my Collector's Edition Barbie Doll (Snowflake from The Nutcracker Suite)
02- my air-con (true love!)
01- my DVD player
THREE Things I Do Everyday03- sing
02- smile
01- do something school-related (it's inescapable!)
TWO Things I Am Trying Not To Do Right Now02- yawn
01- fall asleep on the keyboard
ONE Person I Want To See Right Now01- *NOT TELLING!*
