Thursday, May 25, 2006
3121, paint the town purple!
[Hey, wow. Check it out -- ever since the Top 12, I correctly predicted four people of the Final 5 (Mandisa was my only wrong guess. I did not predict Paris would make it that far.) See the "Ponies" bit on the side bar? I wrote that months ago!]So here's what I love and hate about the finale:
I hate that they put the Idol finale on the 8am
Just Shoot Me! timeslot. Pricks.
I love that the forever-awesome
Prince was there (baby u own the stage!), and I love that he didn't have to share the stage with any contestant. No one can fucking touch this guy! All the other stars performing paled in comparison. Also, for a guy who's 2 years shy of 50, Prince is looking pretty darn good (not a day over 30!) -- and I hear he's just been voted in a PETA poll as the World's Sexiest Vegetarian. Wow!
I hate that
Meatloaf was there, and I hate that he messed up Kat's performance. Well, they both sucked.
I love that
Burt Bacharach was there, and I love that someone finally sang one of my favorite songs of all time,
"Alfie," but I hate that that someone had to be Lisa Tucker (it should have been Kat).
I love that
Clay Aiken was there, but I hate his new hair color.
I love that
Chris Daughtry was there, but I hate that he had to share the stage with
Live. Sorry, but the whole performance was just "meh" for me. I'd die of happiness if it were Aerosmith or Bon Jovi, though.
I hate that
Kevin Covais was there. God. (Though I did laugh when he sang "What's New, Pussycat?")
I love the chemistry between
Ace Young and
Melissa McGhee. Sparks are flying! :)
I love that this year's winner is finally a white male, but I hate that he's someone who performs like a drunk dad at a wedding. I'm gonna pass the buck to
TWoP's Jacob now:
"Taylor wins it. He certainly worked harder for it. I mean, all that spazzing out and hugging himself ticked me off, but it worked for a hell of a lot of people, so...well done. You giant pile of jackass. Once again, America gets the Idol it deserves. This year, American Idol does, too."Bottom line? Prince blew everyone, EVERYONE out of the water, and in true Prince fashion: Turn up 30 seconds before the performance, kick the shit out of everyone, and then high-tail it out of there without so much as acknowledging Seacrest. Diva-licious. I
loved it! In five and a half minutes, he turned
American Idol 5 into
The Prince Show. Taylor who?
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
When it's all said and Dunkleman
"It's official: America is running out of talent." So says my beloved David Spade on his Thursday night program, Comedy Central's
The Showbiz Show. Yep, a lackluster American Idol season that led up to a crappy finale (quoth
Rickey: "Worst. Finale. Ever."). Remember what I said a few blog posts ago?
"If fuckin' Taylor wins, only a tornado or David Spade can stop me from kicking the TV screen."
Well, Mister Television, David Spade saved your electricity-powered life. Nothing like comic relief to cure a resentful Idol viewer.
(And for the record, I'm half-and-half about Kat and Taylor. I was rooting for Kat, but wouldn't it be fun to give the industry a big "In your face!" by not picking the prettier, more talented, pop-star-packaged one? Hee!)
To watch the clip that rescued my TV from having a bulky, pink Skechers shoe implanted [Dane Cook impersonation]in its FACE[/Dane Cook impersonation]:
Click me, baby! (Thanks, damonc79!)
It's funny, seriously. The only people that hate David Spade are the people that can't stand it when he bashes their favorites. Come on, Spade is FUN-NEH! Hell, I wouldn't mind if he had ripped on Chris Daughtry. Chris would still be awesome to me, and Spade would still be funny to me. Win-win!
Some of the best Spade-isms from the clip:
On Taylor: "Come on, he's like Joe Cocker but older!"
On Kat: "I hope McPhee wins, just so I can see her jump up and down!"
On Elliott: "What's he gonna sing about, the wonders of not getting laid?"
"The final five are exactly like The Breakfast Club: There's the rebel [Chris], the princess [Kat], the nerd [Elliott], the weirdo [Paris]...and of course, the principal [Taylor]."
"The most popular contestants have been: white people that sound black [Scott Savol], young people that sound old [RJ Helton(?)], and straight guys that sound gay [Clay Aiken]."
Okay, I am seriously going to write letters to JackTV until they finally air The Showbiz Show with David Spade. "Hi JackTV, WHY THE FUCK IS SHOWBIZ SHOW NOT IN YOUR LINEUP YET? And don't give me any of that 'We don't have an available timeslot' crap, because piece-of-shit programs like Crank Yankers, Primetime Glick and Distraction UK are still showing! Pull them off and give me some SPAAAADE!!!"
For now, I'll just comfort myself with my daily Just Shoot Me! fix (8:00am on weekdays, 4:30am on Saturdays, Star World). I'll also be adding a Spade-ism of the Month feature to my sidebar, right below the Funny Quote of the Day.
So, uh, yeah. Seacrest, out.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
HEIST!
[Part 2 to follow...otherwise, it'd be a FUCKING LONG POST.]
The day started with me opening a sleepy eye to look at my Hello Kitty alarm clock. "9 a.m.? SHIT!"
I was supposed to wake up at 4:30 a.m. so I could watch my daily dose of
Just Shoot Me! reruns on Star World, then get ready to watch the De La Salle Zobel summer workshop recital at the church, and leave early so I could get there on time, since it starts at 10 a.m.
So I get there twenty minutes late, get lost, and follow the music to find my way to the recital venue (a trip around and a staircase down), only to find that the door was locked. Naturally, my knee-jerk reaction would be to whip out my cellphone and text Miggy/Micmac/Kalalz, but luckily, someone opened the door. I spotted Kalalz and Jam waving and...yay. Also there: Miggy and Micmac with mustaches, and a way slimmer Kat (damn youuu! LOL kididing).
The recital was basically...well, let's just say it isn't the first time I've heard "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." Highlight of the show: Sir Pol and Ms. Tin's duet of "We Could Be in Love."
OMG I LOVE THAT SONG!!!! LSS LSS LSS. (Micmac: "Ang galing ni Sir Pol....mag-violin!") Of course, I love that old La Salle tradition of cheering obnoxiously for potential love teams :)
I spent post-recital time swapping hugs and "Heyyy!"s with everyone, and lunch at the mall's Food Court rehashing old memories --- Jesus, I'd totally forgotten about that time I stood up to Ms. Sabarre! Scaaary. I also found out that both La Salle and Pisay are holding their proms at Shangri-La, just one week apart. Cue to my evil plan with my Future Ex-Boyfriend (LOL!) Micmac:
Micmac: Tayo na lang mag-prom date!Me: I know! We'll go to both proms! Two proms in a year!HAHAHAHA.
And then came the movie conflict.
Over the Hedge or
The Da Vinci Code? Personally, I preferred
Over the Hedge because I've recently developed a taste for movies that don't require a lot of thinking. 'Course, I'll always love
American Beauty and all Richard Linklater films, but I think my brain is degenerating.
Back to story: there was no choice, apparently, because
Over the Hedge was sold out (one theater? Just one theater? YOU FUCKING MORONS!!!). I was cool with
The Da Vinci Code too, but only for three reasons. One is that next to Philip Seymour Hoffman, Tom Hanks is my favorite actor. Two, I've never read the book (too lazy). And three is finally getting to experience the thrill of sneaking into an R-18 theater. I know, I know, it should be easy-squeezy for me because I look over 18, but I was looking forward to some really big con where we would all fool the guards and sneak in. Mind you, none of my friends look as old as I do, with Kalalz being the probable exception.
Things get kinda iffy at this point because Miggy doesn't want to watch, and Kat does, and I don't know where to go, and we go in circles and to Powerbooks and then I end up watching anyway (huh?). Perhaps the greatest fun was in devising schemes to get past the R-18 rating:
Micmac (waiting in line): Sabihin natin na ikaw girlfriend ko!Micmac (to female 4th year student): Ate, pahiram ng ID mo! Magkamukha naman tayo e.Me (about to enter cinema with Sowf): Kung hindi ako papapasukin, Micmac, tatawagan kita. Sabihin mo na over 18 ako. *changes the name "Micmac" in cellphone address book to "Daddy"*
Sowf: Nandito parents ko -- sabihin na lang nila sa guard na over 18 tayong lahat!Me (inside cinema, texting Micmac): Pumasok ka na, sabihin mo na andito na girlfriend mo sa loob!And my favorite...
Micmac (inside Powerbooks, trying to find an alternative): Basahin na lang nating lahat yung Da Vinci Code dito!So Kat, Cath, Powie, Sowf and I managed to get in. I was bummed that Micmac and Kalalz couldn't make it inside, and even more bummed that it was the last time I'd see them for the day. The movie itself was cool, but nothing entirely riveting. I later found out that Manila actually banned the showing of this movie, so...HA HA HA. :P Metro Manila rocks!
The end of our little get-together came not too long after the movie, and it was funny waving goodbye and watching them all go up the escalator, like an oddly touching ascension-to-a-Great-Somewhere-Up-There final scene, "I'll see you around someday" kind of thing. And as I walked away, I could hear the opening guitar chords to the
Just Shoot Me! theme playing:
Life keeps bringing me back to youKeeps bringing me homeIt doesn't matter what I wanna do, 'cause it's got a mind of its ownHaha. Cute.
As a gimik, it was nothing out of the ordinary, just a typical get-together like old times. But that's what I love about it, too...especially getting to see everyone else once again. God, I missed you all! It was way too short (Lari, we have a lot of catching up to do!), but I left the mall on a happy note. Looking forward to seeing you in
Grease, MIGGY. Muahahaha. >:)
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
I'd be lying if I said...
...that I didn't see it coming.
After the results show, I was worried all right. "Oh shit, Chris is gonna go home, he's gonna go home!"
And yeah, he did. Apparently, my theories work: If you're popular and you sucked, you're staying. If you're a lower-tier contestant and you rocked the house, you're staying. If you're good but had a mediocre performance, you're gonna go home. (And for people like Bucky: if you normally suck and you did better one night...you're gonna go home.) But hey, at least now we all know he wears boxer briefs...and that Ryan Seacrest totally has the hots for him. (Did you see how he stared silently at Chris for a few seconds before breathing, "It's gonna be a HOT race to the finish"? Dead giveaway.)
So here comes the deluge of people crying "he's gonna sell tons of records, just wait and see," but I'm not so sure about that. Seriously, what's the track record for AI contestants? 48 finalists from seasons one through four, and who's found success? Kelly, Clay, Carrie. 3 out of 48. And Kelly took, what, three years before coming out with a decent album? (Hopefully, Bo will cut himself off from the evil producers and come out with some good, original music soon. Yeah, Bo could be the next Kelly Clarkson! No, not
that way.) Clay's STILL dealing with gay rumors, and Carrie...I'm only counting Carrie because of that whole Skechers deal. Constantine's got a sitcom coming out in the fall, but we have yet to see whether or not it'll fly. Kim Caldwell and Matt Rogers (squee!) are hosting shows now, but I don't really count TV Guide as successful. J-Hud's in a movie, but again, who knows if it'll flop or score big?
ETA: Jim Verraros does some modeling and plays a gay guy (duh) in an indie movie, which I don't count as mainstream success...but getting to make out with Ryan Carnes is success enough for me. :) Go Jimmy go!
I wanted Chris to win so that he could prove that AI isn't just some stupid little pop machine, but whoops, guess not. I'd definitely buy his CD, though. That's a given. CLIVE DAVIS DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM! I hear the cost of Fuel has risen quite recently.
*wink wink*I'll quote my personal hero,
TWoP's Jacob Clifton on this one:
"[Chris's] voice sounds very nice, very professional and practiced, and I don't understand why he's not already doing the music thing. How can AI possibly help him? Is he just lazy? It's a weird detour for someone so practiced and good. Don't let them do to you what they did to Bo, dude! Run!"As for
that show, I'm not watching anymore (I basically ordered my brother to call me whenever it was a Chris or Elliott performance, then I'd skip everyone else), but I'm rooting for Elliott now. Go little leprechaun! We wuuuv you :)
Or I can force myself to catch the McPheever...
*deadpans* oh, yay. She's sooo much fun. -__-
Look, If fuckin' Taylor wins, only a tornado or David Spade will stop me from kicking the TV screen. Sorry, dude, but I tend to notice talent first and foremost when picking an AI favorite.
As for Chris, he's got the vocal chops to make it, I think. Yay, Chris! It was a boring season anyway. Hope you can take Fuel up on that offer now! Woohoo!
Of course, I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss him. Now Fuel had better hound him good or I'm gonna...
