Friday, March 03, 2006
Idol update
I know, I know, my review of WWE Raw Live in Manila is long overdue, but my head's overflowing with opinions on AI!
* It astounds me how a no-talent shit like Jasmine Trias can make it to the Final 3 while
Sway couldn't even make it to the Top 16. So I came up with this theory: If you are good but not great, and your personality doesn't stand out, your days on
Idol are numbered. Why? Because if you don't suck, not enough people will be desperate to keep you in (this is why Kevin Covais is still in the competition), and if you're not great, you won't be able to compel people to vote. Plus, if you have virtually no personality (at least on-screen), that will make you forgettable, which is the worst thing any
Idol contestant could be.
* Thank heavens
Brenna's gone! Even I couldn't stand her diva attitude any longer. If you don't have the talent to back up your words, then SHUT UP. My dad always says, "It ain't bragging if it's the truth." Unfortunately for you, Brenna, you're just a diva-wannabe with no recording contract.
*
Kevin Covais is gross. "Sex symbol" is a title reserved for people who actually
are hot. Quit it, Kev, your delusion is sooo not cute.
* Gedeon McKinney, it is never a good thing when your ego is bigger than your talent. The
Idol stage isn't big enough for that head of yours.
* It's hard to root for The Girl Who Has Everything, but
Ayla Brown is really beginning to grow on me.
* ROFLMAO at
Will Makar's homophobia (in reaction to Ryan Seacrest untucking Will's shirt for him). Poor kid looked like he was about to get molested.
* I hope
Kellie Pickler improves her singing soon. Actually, I wish she'd just get eliminated, but I think that's out of the question because she has that whole sob story and shit. She annoys the fuck out of me, but I predict she'll cute her way to the Top 12 and ride on all the sympathy votes that'll be pouring in.
* Although I had initially written her off as forgettable,
Melissa McGhee has definitely improved this week.
*
Elliott Yamin! Elliott Yamin! Powerhouse!!! Totally came out of left field (where was he during the Hollywood eliminations?), but that voice is like
whoa! IMO, Elliott's the dark horse to win this.
*
Paula Abdul is so full of shit. I have just about had it with that irritating laugh of hers and her penchant for favoring hot male contestants to win. (Well, I might have been guilty of lovin' me some Bo and Constantine, but to me, their talent is more important than their looks. I swear! ^___^') Not to mention her slurred, drunken speech, and those retarded comments she made on last night's results show. Paula, honey, save the pot and booze for
after the show.
Here begins my campaign:
Janeane Garofalo to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol! Woohoo! *__* Or Ellen. Or Sarah Silverman. Hell, even Jessica Simpson's okay by me! Anyone who's
sober, damn it!
* Why do people hate
Simon Cowell so much? He's the only judge whose opinion really matters! At least his vocabulary is not limited to words like "dawg" and "pitchy" (and more recently, "We got a hot one tonight!"), and he isn't an oversexed drunk hag (see above). American Idol is nothing without Simon Cowell. Then again, Simon Cowell is nothing without Ryan Seacrest ;-)
[insert Brokeback Mountain joke here]* To me, it seems like nearly everyone on AI5 is a clone of a past
Idol contestant. See below:
Katharine McPhee = Carrie Underwood (because Simon likes her so much)Kellie Pickler = Carrie Underwood (in the naive farm girl sense, but unlike Carrie, KELLIE CAN'T SING.)Chris Daughtry = Bo BiceAce Young = Justin Guarini/Constantine Maroulis (sultry gaze included! His edge over Con, though, is that he's more sure of what he is--i.e. he accepts his boybandishness---and he doesn't try to act all grungy and rocker-ish.)Lisa Tucker = Tamyra GrayParis Bennett = Fantasia BarrinoBrenna Gethers = Mikalah GordonMandisa = Frenchie DavisDavid Radford = John StevensWill Makar = Jon Peter LewisPatrick Hall = Clay Aiken (according to Simon. I beg to differ, at least Clay wasn't an asshole.)Melissa McGhee = Jessica SierraKevin Covais = random talentless shit from the auditions* To be perfectly honest, if it weren't for
Chris Daughtry, I wouldn't be watching. I hate to say this, but nearly everyone sounds the same. Mom said he should've joined
Rockstar:INXS instead, and I agree. No worries, though, 'cause with a voice like that, Chris is sure to get signed by a major label in the near future!
That's all for now. Till next time, WOOHOO GO CHRIS!!!
