Monday, April 21, 2008
Do Not Enter This Auditorium: Elitism and other misconceptions about Philippine theater

Yes, this is one of those seryoso blog posts that I have to write sober -- haven't written one of these in a while. It was inspired by this little snippet in an online conversation I had with a fellow theater buddy, while I was urging her to bring her family along to catch my current cause celebre, Repertory Philippines' Altar Boyz: 

"No, that's not their kind of thing. As my dad said recently, 'the only thing I know about theatre is that it's for the rich and the intellectuals.'"

I insisted that Altar Boyz, with its unpretentious humor and broad appeal, could be the one thing to change her father's mind. Meanwhile, in the back of my head, that quote sparked an epiphany in me: Is that what has been holding people back from appreciating theater all this time? That people think theater is an exclusive little club for the country's ilustrados and koniotic children like me and my friends? (And I'll maintain that "konyo" is an unfair label to describe me, because I'm really not, but I've been hit with it so many times that I've stopped trying to defend myself. Hurts to hear it nga, pero nakakapagod rin.) 

That was a strange and rather unfounded argument to make, considering that the last time I checked, the good folks at TicketWorld didn't grill potential buyers on their IQ level, pop culture knowledge or personal income before selling them tickets to next Saturday's showing of Hamlet. And ticket prices? Come on, it's P170 to catch a flick at Greenbelt 3. It wouldn't cost too much more to get a seat at a Repertory Philippines show, and I'm sure other, equally well-staged productions (such as those by Dulaang UP or Blue Repertory) sell for even less than that. It's better value for money, too -- what you'll get for P250 at a theater production is much, much more than what you'll get for P170 to see bloody Snakes on a Plane. ...Okay, unfair comparison, but even with any other movie title, it still holds.

Then, while penning down all my rebuttals to the "theatre is only for the elite" theory, I realized that I myself am not fit to argue against it. Not because I'm part of that aforementioned elite class (look, I'm a Radiohead-worshipping, Ramones-shirt-wearing alterna-chick who happens to like Broadway), but because I may have bought into that theory myself. 

I've been downright militant in my efforts to get more people into theater ever since attending the Theater Talk seminar with prolific playwright Floy Quintos last year. It was hugely moving, and I wish I could get to see Floy again to thank him for being such an inspiration. If he could only see me now. I've applied the same fervor in insisting to anyone who will listen that they catch Altar Boyz before it closes, not only because I think the show is great, but because, along with Avenue Q, I think it's the perfect catalyst to spark people's interest in seeing local productions. I don't just ask them to watch Altar Boyz, you see. I ask them to watch it, and then afterwards I nag them to bring their friends and family to see it, and to buy Rep season tickets for next year (great seats at low prices, kamon mamon!).

But then I have to ask myself, why only those two shows? Would I have invited any of my un-theater-y friends to watch Dogeaters? Honest answer: No. I worry that it might have bored them and scared them away from checking out other productions. I shamefully admit that there is some condescension in that decision. 

[while exiting the OnStage theater after Altar Boyz]
Me: One publication said that the guy we just saw? He's the future of Philippine theater!
Friend: (laughing) There is no future of Philippine theater. It's dead.
Me: Then what have I been supporting all this time? We just came from Altar Boyz, and it's doing pretty good.
Friend: That's not Philippine theater. That's American theater in Philippine shores.

I failed you, Floy Quintos. The only things I've bothered watching this year were all Pinoy restagings of Western plays and musicals, despite your urging us to catch Pinoy-written plays and musicals. My excuses, if anyone would ask, were that Skin Deep was too far away, I didn't know about Orosman at Zafira or EJ: Ang Pinagdaanang Buhay nina Evelio Javier at Edgar Jopson until it was too late. 66.67% of these excuses are lies (I really, really didn't know about EJ). Skin Deep was in the PETA Theater, where I went before to attend the Floy Quintos talk. I just wasn't motivated enough to go back to see this play. The Orosman at Zafira organizers even added me to their Multiply circle -- no idea how they found me -- months before they opened. I just didn't go because I have a hard time understanding things that are in full Tagalog, and I was too lazy to even try. And I truly regret not trying, because I heard that OZ was spectacular. I also wouldn't have checked out Dogeaters if I didn't get the tickets for free.

The bottom line is, I only wanted to put more asses in the seats, even if that meant taking the easy route by inviting people to more mainstream shows like Altar Boyz. I'll justify my decision, though, by saying that theater is an acquired taste. I'm not part of the theater elite, I'm just a theater fangirl geekazoid who started with Wicked and graduated to The Last Five Years. Hell, if someone gave me the chance to see Sunday in the Park with George or The Light in the Piazza, I'd totally go, even if I don't think I'm smart enough to see either show.

My point? We all have to start somewhere, and I think Altar Boyz is a great place to start. It's fun, catchy, uplifting, it has no specific target demographic, and it's an excellent way to spend your Saturday afternoon. I wouldn't introduce someone to Richard Linklater films by starting with Waking Life, I'd start with Before Sunrise and then Dazed and Confused and then eventually Waking Life or A Scanner Darkly after that. 

You know what else? At least I'm trying. I may not be everything that Floy Quintos wanted us blogger attendees to be, but I got a good amount of people to see this wonderful Repertory Philippines musical, week after week, and they all liked it so much that they promised me they'd come back the following week with their own groups of friends. And hopefully those friends will come back with their own groups of friends, and so on. I contributed! It may not be huge, but I contributed! If I can't be an Advocate of Philippine Theater, I can at least be an Advocate of Philippine English Language Musical Theater. I put asses in those seats, just like I told myself I would. That's my personal offering to the Shrine of Floy, and I hope he'd be proud of me anyway. I'll try harder next time, I promise.

A person does not have to be cultured or wealthy or intellectual to enjoy theater, in the same way that you don't have to be Japanese to like sushi. Theater can be masa if more people were just motivated enough to give it a shot. That's the key word, "motivation," and that's what I am: a super-makulit cheerleader for the cause. 

I'm not even getting paid for this. ;)

In closing, I only have this to say: fucking watch Altar Boyz before it closes, you mofos! It's on its last weekend! Reserve tickets with Rep at 887-0710 or at TicketWorld. And then after that, we can check out more shows. If by some miracle Orosman at Zafira comes back, I'm dragging ALL your sorry asses with me to UP. And if Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah has another run? Not even a tornado could stop me.

JC got bored @ 12:09 AM

Saturday, April 19, 2008
20 Deep Questions
Love this survey (nakaw from Pielle). Feel free to steal!

20 "Deep" Questions That Could Really Tell You Something. [Not simple questions like "How Old Are You?"]

1. Is it difficult for you to look into someone's eyes when you are talking to them?
When I'm speaking in front of a crowd, I find myself unable to look anyone in the eye sincerely; I just kind of glaze over. When it's one-on-one, it's pretty telling about how I feel about the person. I have no problem looking strangers (provided they're not too hideous) or friends in the eye, but when I'm with someone I have very intense feelings for, be it love or hate, it's a near impossible feat.

2. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You get enough time to make ONE phone call. Who would you call?
Wow, tough one. Maybe my brother, so that makes him the messenger.

3. You have to choose between your significant other and your best friend, who do you choose?
I'd imagine they were the same person? Otherwise it's sex versus loyalty and companionship, and that's not too hard a decision to make.

4.You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live..
(A) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die?
Everyone. I wouldn't be shy about it, and besides, people are nicer to you when they know you're dying. :))))

(B) What do you do with your remaining days?
You know how chipmunks stuff their cheeks full of nuts so they can carry as many as they possibly can? It's kind of like that. I'd go berserk and spend lots of money and maybe try ecstasy or something wild.

(C) Would you be afraid?
No, just opportunistic. :)

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love?
I can't have one without the other, and I refuse to compromise. Sorry. It's not love if you can't even trust them. I think trust can exist independent of love, though.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
I'm a pragmatist, sorry. Walk on, forget I saw it.

7. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Times Square.

8. Think of the last person who you really knew that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Is it okay for you?
In a heartbeat.

9. Are you the kind of person that you would want to have as a friend?
I love myself so much that it's almost scary. All the boys I've ever liked have been some extension of my personality, almost like a mirror-image of myself. If I were a guy, I'd totally go for me. XD (Conceited ba?)

10. Does love = sex?
Of course not. Now come over here, bebeh.

11. One of your best friend dies, what would you do?
Get angry. Punch walls. Scream obscenities. And then pretend everything's okay.

12. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt?
My last blog post. =))))

13. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you hate them?
When you tell someone you hate them, it's usually triggered by the amount of vitriol in your system, to the point that you can't control it anymore. So it's not even a choice for me. Telling someone you love them takes a lot of guts, which I unfortunately don't have.

14. What do you think would be the last thing for you to give up on?
Myself.

15. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you love them?
I can't even remember. It was that long ago.

16. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would you do?
I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. :P Honestly, though, it was something that caused me a shitload of humiliation that lingers to this day.

17. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear a noise. What do you do?
Try to go to sleep anyway.

18. Would you give a stranger CPR if they were dying?
Sure. I have a hero complex. =)))

19. Are you old-fashioned?
The antithesis of it, actually. I'm this side of liberal.

20. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heartbreak or to never have love?
The latter. Love is overrated. It's just hormones and chemicals and compatibility.

...I told you, I'm a pragmatist. :P

JC got bored @ 7:31 PM

Saturday, April 12, 2008
Deconstructing "magic math" emails
We've all gotten them at some point or another. These emails promise to figure out some magic secret number you have in mind, and after a really long process of "subtract this" and "multiply this," bam! Magic number. And you're like "Howdee do dat?"

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that these emails are just really long, streched out algebraic equations. Still, I was bored today and I decided to indulge my nerd side a little bit. Pagbigyan niyo na, Nerd Me doesn't come out very often because she's usually overshadowed by Bumbling Idiot Me.

Let's take, for example, an email that I got from my dad last week:

1. Pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold).

3. Add 5.

4. Multiply it by 50.

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758. If you haven't, add 1757.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

7. You should have a three-digit number.

The first digit of this was your original number. (i.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are ...

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2008) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

OMG MAGIC. Aaaanyway, all it takes is a little patience, and you'll be able to work out the algebra behind it. In about ten minutes, I came up with this:

Equation:

assume that you have already had your birthday this year (if not, change 1758 to 1757)
x is the number of times you'd like to go out to eat
y is the year you were born

50(2x + 5) + 1758 - y = 100x + 2008 - y

The left side is the step-by-step equation as written in the instructions. The right side is what the outcome should look like -- the number (which is multiplied by 100 since it's in the hundreds place) plus your age. For example, I picked 5 and I'm 18, so 100(5) + (2008 - 1989) = 518.

Now, let's simplify!

50(2x + 5) + 1758 - y = 100x + 2008 - y
100x + 250 + 1758 - y = 100x + 2008 - y
100x + 2008 - y = 100x + 2008 - y

There, now identical on both sides.

It is true that this particular one only works for 2008, but all you need to do is add 1 for every succeeding year, and the formula would still work. It's just year-specific, is all.

You can even use algebra to figure out the secrets behind some card tricks. So, the next time you get one of this emails, you don't have to be like "Howdee do dat?" Just say, "Nyeh." :P
JC got bored @ 9:00 PM

Sunday, April 06, 2008
Jesus thought it was awesome (and so did I)
Originally supposed to be entitled "Jesus wants to hump this musical (and so do I)," but, hmm. Too blasphemous?

I don't even know where to begin with this. Altar Boyz was awesomecakes slathered in awesomesauce, deep fried in awesome and topped with awesomecream. With a side of awesome.

I was already giddy as the lights dimmed and the stage was covered in smoke. Nostalgia hit, with the opening number "We are the Altar Boyz" bringing me back to my Grade 2 days when I was a rabid NSYNC fangirl -- JC was my favorite, he was the best singer and songwriter -- the kind crazy enough to go online to engage in word wars with Backstreet Boys fangirls (you bitches). Good times.

The format of Altar Boyz makes it a concert (more specifically, the final leg of their Raise the Praise tour) with a story behind it that is unraveled bit by bit in between songs. It's a comedy and parody, and as someone who is easily amused and highly excitable, I loved it from start to finish. There was never a moment where I wasn't grinning. Even the significantly less excitable Castro was laughing quite often.

Bright spots among the musical numbers include "Rhythm in Me," for the Mark solo that just about killed me, "The Calling," which perfectly embodies the schmoopiness of some early 2000's boyband hits, and "Something About You," which is pure lyrical genius:

So I hope you’ll understand my love
When I sing you this refrain

I believe in God, and so I must abstain


More than the songs and plot, though, what truly makes this musical work are the Boyz themselves. I could not have imagined a better cast for this show:
At the end of the musical, I left the theater completely thrilled that Altar Boyz had more than exceeded my already high expectations. My only regret was not getting to congratulate the five of them (and okay, I wanted my program signed XD) by squealing "That was awesomeee" in my Zach Braff voice. But anyway, you all knocked it out of the ballpark, boys, so congratulations and I'll see you next week. :) And the week after that. And the...

[More detailed version on my Multiply, including a recap of the rest of my day, but you have to be in my network to read. :P]
JC got bored @ 7:23 AM

The other kind of dumb
Since I figured that my being mute for a day would be an interesting topic to write about, I carried around a notebook and pen with me the whole day. This was partly because I needed a pen and paper to communicate with people, and partly to write about my experiences during Mute Day. Ironically enough, I ended up being absent the entire week since the cough only worsened (you'll understand the irony once you read the last line).

April 2, 2008
3:30 am
Rousing breakfast of Lucky Me chicken noodle soup, because they said that hot soup would help my throat, and I couldn't be arsed to cook any real soup. Oi, masarap kaya yung Lucky Me!

3:35 am
Develop solution to temporary inability to sing while listening to Dreamsounds 2 (which is impossible not to sing along with): lip-synch! Do spirited rendition of "Without You" by Charlie Wilson, complete with emoting and grandiose gesturing. I should be in one of those air bands! I'd be a hardcore air vocalist!

5:40 am
Decide to go the Paul Dano route and use a pen and paper after realizing that I can't mime "the drugs don't work" (LOL, The Verve LSS) to my dad.

7:15 am
Thankfully, my self-imposed muteness hasn't eliminated my option to communicate with people via YM. I love you, internet.

7:58 am
Receive "get well soon" message from co-worker Bing. Am touched.

8:32 am
I can still use hand signals to call my brother a loser.

10:20 am
Am the object of weird glances from people on the sidewalk because I converse with my brother entirely in pantomime. Quickly get used to it and continue attempting to hand-gesture "What time does your class end?"

11:15 am
Finally reach HSBC. Erika greets me as I walk to the nearest computer, asking why I'm here at this hour. Do my umpteenth miming of the day for "My voice" (point to throat) "is shot" (raise hands to chest level and rotate back and forth in an I-don't-know gesture) "so I can't really talk right now" (sad face).

12:45 pm
Walk to ATC. Transfer funds from my HSBC payroll account to my BPI debit card. Thankfully, the process doesn't involve any talking.

1:30 pm
Walk to Gold's Gym. I doubt physical exercise will affect my voice, so I'm not too worried.

3:10 pm
Talk for the first time in the day, but only because it was a phone call and I was too lazy to text.

3:35 pm
Eating at ATC food court with Jason. We have an entire conversation where he talks while I write on a sheet of yellow pad paper. Starts with me scribbling down, "So, how was school?" And so on. I start thinking, I could make an indie film out of this. Julie Can't Talk or something like that.

4:20 pm
Am finally able to talk since I've completed 24 hours. Yay.

6:30 pm
I want to go to work, but my mother says I should stay home because my voice sounds like shit. Father agrees. Fueled by determination, I go to my room and start practicing my spiels. "How can I help you with your Best Buy account today, Mr. Smith?" Realize that I really do sound like shit.

7:40 pm
Think about calling my boss to tell him I can't go to work because everybody thinks my voice is complete ass today. Change my mind because he's probably still asleep. Damn graveyard shift, it's so confusing. Decide to call him at around 11 instead.

10:10 pm
Fall asleep. Damn it.

April 3, 2008
12:30 am
Wake up. Realize that my shift had started (12mn) and I hadn't contacted my boss yet. I text him, hoping that this isn't counted as NCNS (no call, no show -- essentially AWOL). Go out to the kitchen and am relieved to find that my father finally bought my meds and they are sitting on the table. Take medication, surf a little on the net, go back to sleep.

4:00 am
My voice sounds a little better when I wake up this time. More internetting, then breakfast.

8:15 am

Once everyone's out of the house, I start up my brother's PC. To celebrate the victory of finally getting my voice back, I rock out to Aerosmith's "Jaded" and sound pretty cool. I feel good about today. :)
JC got bored @ 4:57 AM

Tuesday, April 01, 2008
In which she actually commits to shutting up
I knew something was wrong when I was on the elliptical at Gold's and the coughing only got worse. Things were inexorably bad when I started vomiting a little bit in the bathroom stall. I was like, "No way am I taking any calls today."

It had gotten to the point where it even hurt to cough, because my throat felt so bruised. What started out as a leftover cough-and-colds thing from The German Measles Episode got progressively worse over the weeks, even though I had been taking the prescribed cough syrup.

At work, I advised one of my bosses that I was in no shape to be taking calls because I couldn't even get through two sentences without coughing. "Hello, this is Julie, thank you for ca -- HACK HACK HACK, err sorry!"

Went to the doctor at Healthway ATC after my shift to see what was wrong, and if he could prescribe something to get rid of it. It turned out to be acute laryngitis, and I need a bunch of pills, a throat spray, and -- here's the interesting part -- "1 day voice rest."

I'd never actually had to take "voice rest" before, but Dr. Dudemeister recommended that I spend one entire day without talking. At all.

LOL, challenge.

It's gonna be really weird; I mean, obviously I'm staying at home tonight because Mr. Boss said that I'm useless at the office without my voice. But, like, what do you think I like to do while I'm bumming around at home? How else would I piss off the neighbors? And now, I can't sing! I can't even whisper!

So, I figured it might be something interesting to write about: What will this silly girl (who is admittedly in love with the sound of her own voice) do when she's forced to spend the whole day without using her voice? Abangan!

Maybe I'll be like Dwayne from Little Miss Sunshine, all angsty and reliant on his little notepad to convey his feelings to the world (Dwayne, in angry scrawl: "This sucks!"). Or...Maggie Simpson. Or the king from Once Upon a Mattress.
JC got bored @ 3:49 PM

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