Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Apply directly to the forehead!
If I were to describe the current state of affairs in The Life of J.C. in one word, it would be "messy." Of course, I've always been messy. I'm like Cristina Yang, only I'm a hell of a lot dumber.J.C. Rants in Numeric Sequence:
1. The rain has the shittiest timing ever. It's gone when I want it there, and then it shows up RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL, just to piss me off.
2. I can't seem to shake off my cramming mechanism. Ergo, my grades aren't looking anywhere near what I want them to be.
3. Okay, not really a rant here, but I have a confession to make: I lied. (I'm sorry, Sir Nat!) In our Math quiz, there was a bonus item where you take the name of your crush and turn it into a typhoon name. For example, if your crush's name is Mary Jane, you can write, "Bagyong Marijuana." Or something like that. Anyway, I've been crushless (Eric Dane doesn't count =P) and bored for over a year now, so I decided to write the name of some random guy in my batch with a name easy to convert. I was really desperate for bonus points---if you've seen my Math grades, you know how badly I need bonus points.
As it turns out, Sir Nat took those names and used them as our codenames for when he posted our Math grades for the public to see (and laugh at). So Pisay peeps, if you figure out which one is mine, just remember na hindi ko crush yan. (Gusto ko lang asarin si Maan M. wahahaha).
[ETA] 4. I lost my wallet. ;___; That's the ultimate testament to my dim-wittedness and early-onset Alzheimer's, although it's not really an aberration because I've lost three cellphones and countless wallets before. *sigh*
Even worse news? Forgetfulness seems to be contagious, because Deo, JK, Rhey and some other people have lost their wallets this week too. (Lucky Deo found his though. Damn youuu!) Either that, or someone's going around stealing people's shit. In that case, STOP STEALING STUFF YOU SYPHILITIC DRUID. I want my wallet baaaaack! I know I sound shallow, but right now I feel like I lost a part of me.
If you guys have seen a black compartment-zipper-thingy with some Bic ballpens (2 blue, 1 red, 1 black) and a Marithe Francois Girbaud wallet containing P1300 and an assload of barkada pictures inside, pleasepleaseplease give it back before I get an aneurysm. If you do, name your reward--I can treat you to lunch or do your English/Chemistry/STR homework for you or whatever (but believe me, asking me to do your Math homework is a death wish). If you don't, I'll make sure to haunt you in the afterlife and pull down your pants in public when you're not looking. And then I'll turn Hindu and pray that you get reincarnated as a septic tank. And then I'll steal your wallet...no I won't because stealing is bad.
5. My brain has a short half-life! I can practically feel myself getting dumber and dumber as time goes by. I have an inconveniencingly short attention span, and, as I mentioned before, the memory span of a goldfish. Every day, I forget something. And during lectures, when I understand a lesson the way I used to do back in first year (i.e. without having to ask someone else to explain it to me), I'd be all, "OH MY GOD! I actually understood a lesson? Wow!"
Tragic, I know. Like, I've never had any alcohol because I believed people when they said that alcohol kills brain cells, but now I'm coming close to thinking that I might as well drink because my brain cells are dying on their own anyway. Yeah, that's how stupid I'm becoming.
(Don't worry though, I'm not going anywhere near alcohol.)
My friend Miggy has the B-E-S-T LJ icons ever, so Mege-phloque, I hope you don't mind if I borrow a couple for this post. People, this is how I feel right now:
And this is how my brain cells act inside my head:
(Hahaha dalawa na lang yung brain cells na natira sa utak ko)
I wish there was a roll-on stick you could apply directly to the forehead to make you smarter. Which brings me to my next topic: the Head On commercial, also known as the most annoying commercial in the universe. (Okay, lame and contrived segue, but you gotta admit it's creative. LOL.) Click here to view the commercial.
Now, I would have hated that commercial, but click here for the perfect remedy--the greatest commercial parody I have ever seen. (It's funnier if you watch it while you're stoned...of course, I wouldn't know that >=D)
If you can go through watching those videos and not have the sentence "Apply directly to the forehead" play in your mind through the next twenty-four hours, I swear, you're superhuman.
